Quarantine Things. Unexpected and weird pandemic growth edition.
Here’s something most people don’t know about me. In fact, I would say only my innermost inner circle of people know it. The people who live with me. Ready for it? I hate buying toilet paper. I fucking hate it. I can do it if I have a cart FULL of other groceries, but I don’t like it. I don’t like being in the aisle. I don’t want people assuming that I need toilet paper. Never would I ever go to the store to buy only toilet paper. When I’m out in the world and receive the dreaded “we need toilet paper” text from my husband, he immediately gets a “fuck you” text back. Imagine my horror when the entire world became focused on toilet paper and in particular, purchasing toilet paper. When the world ran out of toilet paper, I sent my husband to the hardware store because I heard they had plenty. Plenty of off brand, one ply, porta-potty approved toilet paper is what they had. And he bought as much as he was allowed to purchase. 3 packs of 9 rolls I think it was. And it was fine. I expected it to last forever, and it would have if I lived alone. But I live with 3 boys who clearly require a lot of toilet paper. I have been doing my grocery shopping online and picking it up curbside. Every week I add toilet paper to the list and every week they have none. My super awesome neighbor friend was out in the world and ran across toilet paper and was kind enough to snatch up extra for us. He delivered it to our carport. Y’all. It’s lavender scented. I think just the roll is lavender scented, but it makes all the toilet paper smell like lavender. Every time I walk into the bathroom where the lavender toilet paper is, it transports me to another time and place. Not a lavender field like you might expect. No. It takes me to a public bathroom. A public bathroom where sketchy things take place and the smell of chemical flowers attempts to cover it up. And I laugh every time. I read on social media that a local friend has toilet paper that smells good, so I imagine half of this island is rocking the Dollar General lavender toilet paper. Also hilarious. And the fact that people are just openly discussing toilet paper EVERY DAMN DAY. What is this world? On Monday morning, I took a trip to the grocery store because I needed to pick out my own groceries. I got there at 6:30 am. Last night a friend said that grocery shopping during this time feels like it’s straight out of The Hunger Games. She’s right. It does. Mask on. Focus. Go. Don’t stop. Get out. But, at the last minute, I remembered that I should look for toilet paper. So I back tracked. And “blessed be the toilet paper.” (If you read The Handmaid’s Tale, you know.) There wasn’t a lot, but it was definitely there. Brand name, two ply, non lavender toilet paper. A freaking miracle. I was allowed to purchase two, but there was absolutely no way I was going to be THAT asshole. There was another woman in the aisle who was very excited about the toilet paper. And then it happened. This woman and I had a conversation about toilet paper right there, behind our masks, 6 feet away from one another, in the toilet paper aisle. I kid you not. This was my big moment of growth. Buying toilet paper while having a discussion about toilet paper with a stranger as I stood in front of a shelf of toilet paper. This cannot be what I take from my time in quarantine. This cannot be how I remember this time. But, it’s etched into my mind and it will absolutely be a moment that I don’t forget. We will ALL remember the toilet paper crisis we experienced during this time. There is no way around it. How fucking crazy is that? BUT…….I am also going to remember how good it feels to hear someone’s voice on the phone. I am going to remember how much I love the sound of quiet. I’m going to remember how much I enjoy watching my 17 year old bake. How much I love all the extra snuggles from my 11 year old. How my husband and I have learned to be more patient and kind to one another. To not seek outside of myself to nourish my soul. That I actually need very little to be content. That I am hilarious and make myself laugh out loud several times a day at the things that go on in my head. There’s so much good stuff in all of this. This time is truly a gift in strange wrapping. It’s incredibly inspiring to witness everyone adapt and adjust and keep moving forward.
Something a little different for the blog. A question for you. What will you remember most about this time. Good, bad or indifferent. There’s no wrong answer. It doesn’t have to be pretty. Just honest.