1,400 Days

1,400 days of choosing me. 1,400 days of waking up and making the choice to live fully present. 1,400 days of making the choice to grow spiritually and emotionally. I choose me every day in every way. When I sit down on my meditation cushion. When I step onto my yoga mat. When I go to one of “those meetings.” When I eat foods that nourish my body. When I rest because I’m tired. When I let myself experience whatever I’m experiencing without numbing myself, I choose me. I heard early on in my recovery that “eventually we stop wanting what’s bad for us and start to crave what’s good for us.” I held on to that for a long time hoping it was true. It didn’t happen overnight, but eventually, magically I think, it began to happen for me. I no longer feel like I’m missing out when I see people doing the things that I choose not to do. Believe me, it is definitely a choice. I’m not missing out on the blackouts, relationship problems, hangovers or any of that other “fun stuff” by choosing me. Recovery has given me the most precious gifts of all. Self respect and love for myself. The real kind of love. The kind of love that says it’s ok if you aren’t perfect. I love you as you are. The kind of love that says get your ass up out of bed and get on your yoga mat because it makes you feel good! The kind of love that says you are being an asshole and you need to take a nap. Real love. The kind of love that says it’s ok if the only thing you did right today was breathe. 1,400 days of learning what that real love is. 1,400 days of making one empowered choice after another. 1,400 days of choosing me. ❤️

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